When Is a Good Time to Have Kids?

Chelsey emailed us the week before her wedding. She wanted to let us know she'd read Start Your Family, and in her words,

We had been unsure about whether or not we would use birth control. I don't want to take the pill, and honestly, we didn't want to use birth control at all, but we are on a limited, though sufficient, income, and we didn't know if it was 'wise.' Your book, along with the wise counsel of our pastor, was such an encouragement.

Recently she wrote again with an update. I asked her if she'd write a version for the blog. And graciously, she agreed. Here's what she had to say,

My husband and I got married in April, almost three years to the day after we started dating. I had been 23 for a month; he was 22.

During our pre-marital counseling, our pastor reiterated what we already wanted so desperately to believe: that God is the giver of life and that whatever our best laid plans may be, He was the one who would ultimately determine when our family should start.

We had talked about wanting to have kids right away with our friends and families, but the word was almost always the same, based on our plans for the future: your early twenties is not a good time to have kids; right after marriage is a not a good time to have kids; when you’re in seminary is not a good time to have kids; when you’re on the mission field is not a good time to have kids. We were left wondering—when is a good time to have kids?

We couldn’t answer that, and neither could anyone else. So we decided that we would let God decide when was a good time for us to start having babies. It didn’t take long to find out. His good timing appears to be sometime next February, which means our ten-week-old son will be celebrating our one-year wedding anniversary along with us.

Since God softened our hearts in this area, there have been times of fear and doubting. Did we make the right decision? Is everything going to turn out OK? In response to these anxieties, God has proven to be the God of Psalm 94:18-19: “When I thought, ‘My foot slips,’ your steadfast love, O Lord, held me up. When the cares of my heart are many, your consolations cheer my soul.”

What have God’s consolations been for us? He provided me a job the day after we got back from our honeymoon, which has allowed us to build up our savings account. He has us in a church that values family and children. He recently gave my husband a new, better-paying job that will allow me to stay home with our little one.

I don’t know how many children God will ultimately give us, but whatever His plan, we are truly “tasting and seeing that the Lord is good” in allowing us to start our family when He did.

Congratulations Chelsey and Christian. Thank you for letting us rejoice with you!

Comments

[Emily Pell]

It is so funny what people think about this sometimes. I have known people to have children in all those times "not good to have children", and they have been fine! God truly provides what is needed =).

[Brother Hank]

great testimony! i plan to share it on my blog a.s.a.p!

[Kellie]

Interesting, but what about when the desire to have children soon means the wife needs to continue working? This was the case for my husband and I. Would love to hear a story about how things didn't work out perfectly.

[Brother Hank]

Kellie-

the kind of stories that don't "work out perfectly" abound! lol. but it is in the midst of those anxious experiences when God shows himself all the more faithful to His children! having a child is no guarantee that a husband will get a promotion and everything will be A-okay, but having Christ (or rather, being had by Christ) is indeed a guarantee that everything will be governed by his grace-filled, faith-inducing, omnipotent hand. nothing comes to us (children included) that does not first pass through the truth of Romans 8:28. what that looks like in real life may look very different from couple to couple and experience to experience, but one thing is for certain -- if an earthly father can give good gifts to his children, how much more so can a Heavenly Father give good gifts to his children. no child has ever come from the hand of God apart from the grace to care for him!